At this point in my life, I have made most of my friends through school or college. In those environments, I was surrounded by people of my own age, with similar interests, and we were required to spend a lot of time together. We lived near each other and saw each other on a regular basis, without any planning. Friendships happened so naturally. But upon leaving this environment and setting off on a global adventure, I’ve given a lot of thought to how my concept of friendship has evolved.
Friendships are always formed within a certain context, whether it be school, work, or a shared interest. And when we exist in that context, these relationships have undeniable strength and seem everlasting. But once circumstances change, it is interesting to reflect on which friendships depend on the environment they were built in and which friendships thrive beyond. I graduated high school with a number of really close friends. Together we grew from awkward sixth-graders into young adults. Despite this bond, many of us naturally drifted apart in college. In many cases, the relationships are not lost permanently and are revived periodically when we come home. Still, no matter how much I cherish these reunions, these friendships have a tendency to go dormant as soon as we part ways. I have experienced similar trends with many college friends. As we set off into the world, many friendships went on hold, waiting for our paths to cross again. These changes were unsettling and upsetting at first. How do I let go of people who are so important to me? How did we go from close to distant, so quickly? Does this mean the relationship was never as strong as I thought? I had to understand that most friendships have a limited duration. Time and distance inevitably interfere. But instead of feeling like all the memories we created are suddenly worthless, I’m taking a different approach. I find myself happy to remember the emotional connection we experienced and what it meant to me. And I think that’s all I can do, seeing as it seems impractical to take everyone I’ve ever cared for around the world with me.
On one hand, I’ve accepted what happens to many friendships as lives change. But on the other hand, I’ve also experienced how some friendships seem to only grow stronger, through all life’s twists and turns. Those of you who have spent much time with me over the past 4 years know that my relationship with Natasha is no ordinary friendship. We laugh and cry. We are silly. We go on romantic dates. We have ridiculous conversations and meaningful, thought-provoking ones. We care for each other through stress and sickness. We like similar foods and split everything. We have spontaneous adventures. We share our deepest fears and pains. We know each other better than we know ourselves. And we can basically communicate telepathically. I ask myself everyday how we got so lucky. Yes, our relationship was born in college, but it almost immediately transcended beyond those boundaries. We know each other’s family and friends from back home, and I even ordained her wedding. But still, though I trusted our friendship with all my heart, navigating our relationship as we both traveled abroad felt like a new test.
Being on this trip has allowed me to be spontaneous in ways the structured life of a student never did. Whether it’s a last-minute weekend trip or the decision to suddenly move to another country for an exciting opportunity, my life is flexible. And when I have wild ideas, like surprising Natasha in Bangkok for Thanksgiving weekend, it’s my choice to make them a reality. With help from Dustin, her husband, this particular crazy idea turned out spectacularly. Not only did I love showing her how much I missed her, but I also gained confidence in the strength of our relationship out in the real world. As an added benefit, Thailand has been at the top of my travel wish list for a while now, so I won’t deny the excitement of fulfilling that dream!
We “ran into each other” when they got off their bus, and squeezed each other repeatedly as she oscillated between being stunned and joyful and I grinned like a fool. She continued giving me random, adorable hugs all weekend, every time her disbelief kicked in and she wanted to check if she was dreaming. It felt as though we were two magnets that could finally snap together after being held apart for ages. Being together again reminded us that even with all kinds of fantastic adventures filling our lives, nothing could dull the way we felt about each other.
With some advice from Michael, my good friend from college who is from Bangkok, we explored as much as possible for the next couple days. For our Thanksgiving dinner, we had the best green curry I’ve ever had- simple and quintessential of our friendship. We walked through China Town and got stuck in pouring rain outside the Grand Palace. We wandered through some of the most peaceful and beautiful temples I’ve ever seen. We took a small boat and explored a floating market. We ate almost exclusively street food and lived off of fresh fruit from small vendors. We reveled in the liveliness of night markets and did plenty of people watching. And no matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t eat enough mango sticky rice.
Not only did Michael take the effort to create a travel guide (complete with Google Maps screenshots overlaid with arrows and circles) to steer us away from tourist hot-spots and mega malls, but his parents were also incredibly gracious. I couldn’t thank them enough. Natasha fell sick on the last day so she couldn’t join unfortunately, but I went to lunch with their entire extended family. During this incredible feast, I learned all about traditional food, culture, and Thai life. Afterwards, Michael’s parents took me to the famous weekend market and introduced me to all the shops that they frequent. From stunning fabrics to beautiful handicrafts, my eyes grew wide. I never go crazy over shopping, but this place is remarkable. Of course, the endless delicious food is a big attraction too. They insisted on buying me a gorgeous silk scarf, so I promised to always think of them and their love when I wear it. After two hours in this massive market, we had apparently seen less than 10%. I think you could spend days just wandering, constantly amazed and perpetually lost.
By the end of the day, I had grown so fond of this family, but I said my goodbyes. By moving around frequently, I’ve repeatedly experienced making new friends and leaving them behind. I always struggle to say goodbye to people I’ve shared impactful experiences with, but these moments of closing are just as integral to my adventure as all the openings. Whether it’s the memories from a friendship built in an afternoon to the memories from a friendship that is fundamental to my core, experiences like this weekend make me so thankful for the way my journey has offered me love and kindness in the most unexpected ways. Here’s to friendships of all lengths and sizes, because together they give me chances to smile, laugh, and love with all my heart.
The top photo is Natasha and I outside the floating market.
The first row below is of various shrines and celebrations of the late Thai King. There are shrines basically everywhere and the vast majority of people will wear black for the next year. The devotion and dedication everyone expresses towards him is remarkable.
The next two rows are of some of the most famous temples in Bangkok.
The giant reclining Buddha in the row below was truly breathtaking. Don’t miss the marble inlay on his feet.
The next row down is a continuation of the Nithtasha photo series. Thank you Dustin for capturing these moments.
Immediately afterwards, Natasha and Dustin pose adorably on the dock before we boated across to the market.
The woman making fresh roti is from a night market and the display of indigo fabrics is from the weekend market.
The view of the city from a pedestrian overpass shows how massive Bangkok is, and the flower market near China Town wowed us with the quantity of marigolds.
The last three photos are from my day with Michael’s family. The photos show lunch with the whole family, trying my first durian, and their favorite fabrics store with the owner.
