Closure

After calling Cambodia home for two and a half years, Covid forced me to flee the country without time for so much as a goodbye. Two years later, I got to come back and rewrite the end of my Cambodia chapter.

Cambodia was never meant to be a long term choice. But was it a place that changed me and my trajectory in life? Absolutely. It unlocked a passionate dedication for my work and tireless momentum towards it, gave me freedom and thrilling adventure, and introduced me to people who, to this day, are some of the most important people in my daily life. Cambodia is a place with loud Karaoke at any hour of the day, overwhelming smells, heart-breaking history, and nonexistent infrastructure, but also a place of caring and generous culture, abundant tropical fruit, flexible rules, and semi-constant absurdity to provide daily entertainment. It’s a place where people will rush to your aid if you drop your motorbike key down a drain or your bike stalls in the middle of an intersection, both of which I can confirm personally. Over time, Cambodia became not only a place of some of my greatest highs, but also a place I experienced loneliness and loss and built habits of using work as my escape. It was a place where I didn’t always know how to take care of myself – a place where work became my whole identity and I stopped existing outside of it. Beautiful memories aside, I left Cambodia on a low and, despite two years passing in between, it felt intimidating to open up the past and go back in time. I was coming back after so long, yet still no closer to feeling like I had a home. 

Nonetheless, I knew I wanted to come back, if nothing else but to go out to our project sites and spend time in the field. After over two years of being connected to work exclusively through my laptop, the bumpy car ride, noisy diesel boat, and hot and tiring field day was also the most energizing, refreshing experience. Normally I spend all day thinking about the ways the products could be better, bugs that need to be fixed, growth we need to hit… But for those hours in the field, I see how far we’ve come and the impact of this work. What started as an idea and mess of wires is now a manufactured product, providing electricity to households and powering life-changing opportunities. What started as mockups and a few files of code is now a software platform and mobile app used fluently by field teams managing Okra grids in the most remote parts of the world. The future of what we can learn and achieve feels vast and exciting. Cheesy as it is to still be so giddy seeing our work in the field, there I was, filled with pride, the magic of our work and why I do what I do alive and strong. 

Outside of field visits, my two months back in Cambodia ended up a surprisingly wonderful blend of relishing in my nostalgia and exploring new perspectives and connections. When I reached, in a completely disheveled state after a hectic few weeks on the road and a travel journey from hell, two friends took me in and what was meant to be a temporary (crash) landing pad, ended up with me never leaving. They gave me a sense of home and belonging and the routines we built together made me feel whole and happy. The time with them, unexpected as it was, ended up being one of the best parts of coming back. Through their support, I even kept up running, something that is notoriously difficult to do in Phnom Penh, and persevered through running the same 10km loop, 32 times throughout my stay. I eagerly rode a motorbike again down familiar streets, sweated it out in hectic Khmer gyms, and enjoyed a sense of normalcy with an office and team energy to surround myself with. I met up with countless old friends and bonded over fond memories and history together, and opened myself to new relationships that showed me new sides of myself and of the city simultaneously.

Chasing closure can be a losing battle, but in this case, I got to redo my farewell in the best possible ways. I enjoyed – motivating and inspiring field visits, the best routines in Phnom Penh that I ever had, dinners and catchups with long lost friends, a tropical paradise getaway to Siem Reap with the team, peaceful and captivating sunrise runs through Angkor Wat, and a goodbye party that was the perfect ending celebration to it all. This time when I left, instead of being filled with turmoil, I stared out the airplane window grateful for every minute I had soaked up, very much at peace.

Before officially kicking off my life in Portugal, I spent the past month with family and loved ones in India and the US. Back in India for the first time since Covid, the immersion in family and culture reminded me of how important these relationships and this side of my identity are to me. I was there to celebrate one of our biggest holidays and my grandfather’s 98th birthday, spent meaningful time with many of the family I feel closest to, and squeezed in some adventures and visits with close friends. The bouncing around took its toll, but this trip also felt like the missing piece I needed before being mentally ready to start the next chapter in my life.

Now, almost 15 stops later (this year alone), I’m headed to Portugal and making that desperately-awaited “longer term move”. To the countless friends and family who have made me feel at home with you over the past years, I hope I can soon return the favor and share my new home with you!

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A truly magical getaway to Siem Reap with the team. We all lounged (and worked remotely!) around this beautiful bungalow and I relished some very special sunrise runs through a a tourist-free Angkor Wat.

Our flagship Cambodia community, Steung Chrov, is a floating village and households eagerly experiment with new appliances like washing machines and sugarcane juicers!

I was never very good about taking photos in Phnom Penh itself, but here are a few taken from runs and rooftops. Phnom Penh sunsets were always spectacular.

On to India! Beach photos are from Goa, then a smattering of photos mostly from Kerala.

A brief trip back to the US, primarily for visa reasons but can never resist the chance to enjoy beautiful California scenery when given the chance!